Somethings wrong.

I don't know what it is. My mental health is screwing me over. I've felt this before and I got scared. It's annoying. Emotions right now are of confusion, hate, annoyance, angst just feelings!? I DONT KNOW.

Normally I just breath, feelings/emotions= neutral...

This is funny because yesterday was R U OK DAY.

Now I don't know if I'm ok.

I'm listening to such sad music. Listening to other peoples unhappiness touches me. It makes me happier. Today it's Sage Francis.

I learnt to keep some things private. But in the spirit of R U OK YESTERDAY I'll post my vague feelings. But I think Jens the only one that reads my blog. Hey Jen R U OK? Subscribe to podcast called KEXP they have brilliant songs mostly Indie. Thats where I found Sage Francis. He's what one calls indie hip hop. Its awesome. Cheered me up after listening to that one song like five times.

See ya. Oh and I think i'll use Pocahontas as my other supplementary text. I just have to watch it again.

Have a good day

Cause I promised my future self.

"He looked at the sky and told me to look at the stars. So, I looked up, and we were in this giant dome like glass snowball, and he said that the amazing white stars were only really holes in the black glass of the dome, and when you went to heaven, the glass broke away, and there was nothing but a whole sheet of star white, which was brighter than anything but doesn't hurt your eyes. It was vast and open and thinly quiet, and I felt so small." -January 1 1992. The Perks of Being A Wallflower

Almost three weeks away. My lovers are you excited? I promised my future self that I would work hard but as usual procrastination is getting the best out of me.

I sit here in front of Rodrigo typing about the best third person novel I have read in such a long time. The Perks of Being A Wallflower was recommended to me by T-dog she told me that I reminded her of the protagonist and that I would love it. And YES I do love it and somehow the Protagonist did remind me of him. This story gave me insight of what was my place in life. I was a wallflower. I used to watch what others were doing. What was happening in their lives listening to their stories and not making up my own. I loved that. I grew older and sure why not lets get rebellious lets start a riot. I finally had my own stories. Life got more exciting and just a bit more angsty. This is my life and that is pretty much what happened in the book minus the drugs and less drama but same indie music. I haven't finished it yet. But I will recommend it to you. Finish what ever your studying and buy or borrow it.

"Do you always think this much, Charlie?" "Is that bad?" "Not necessarily. It's just that sometimes people use thought to not participate in life." "Is that bad?" "Yes."

Time of No Reply- Nick Drake.

SMASH 10 totally worth not studying for trials.

Haven't posted anything in almost two years. I though it would be appropriate to post something after one of the greatest days I've had in years. SMASH 2010. So Smash for me started in 2007 where the prices where only $9 for pre registration. I was so high then. ANIME AND MANGA! Cosplayers gaming epic art. I still have a bunch of badges that i bought at the very first smash. since then I have been to all SMASH events seeing really awesome things like men dressing as Claymore, epic art, cheap manga, meeting heaps of people and occasionally finding hot cosplayers. Sadly I can't find any of the photos from then. Good times though.

Captain From Hellsing. SMASH 2010

Hottest guy I've ever seen in cosplay

At 2010 SMASH we saw the epic high point. It had all the awesome things that makes smash but this year we had a MOSHPIT to KARAOKE! I totally started the first one with my one person moshpit on the sides then people started copying me and i joined them with thrash dancing. Then on the last song the guys on stage decided to start a moshpit and that was when it got BIG! We all fist pumped, we all did air guitar solos, we thrashed danced, we jumped, we all group hugged. I also started the group hug.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1560355656766&ref=mf

This year we also saw the sold out sign in the front of SMASH doors. I WAS LIKE WTH THATS EPIC! I'm glad I always preregister. There were also heaps of cross dressing men this year. I saw one and I was like YOUR A BOY! Norimi and I were also fangirling on the cosplayer that is Captain. She was dressed as a Vocaloid, and was so cute. She got a really AWESOME picture of her and Tuxedo mask he was such a gentleman. We also made a friend called Zine he was all by himself so he joined our group for a bit. THIS YEAR I WENT TO THE MADE CAFE this was the first time ever since I started. EPIC SMASH EVERYONE!

It was totally worth not studying for trials